Passionately & Thoroughly

What a year this has been.  It has overall been amazing and filled to the brim with change.  There have been so many good things that have happened, and many lessons learned along the way. I experienced so many life-changes that have dealt me a completely new set of cards, and half the time I really felt like I was holding on for dear life to keep up with what this journey had to offer. It truthfully has been very hard.

One of my goals for the upcoming year is to be less ashamed of some of the lessons that I have learned and struggles that I have overcome.  I have spent so much time worrying about what other people think about me, my choices, everything, even though in reality, the person being hardest on me always ends up being myself. Does anyone else struggle with this?  Insecurity is what stops so many people from pursuing something they love or vocalizing their passions.

From here on out, I choose to be ashamed no more. I am on my own path and I need to walk it with confidence.  There are always going to be people out there who question things and spend their time talking about others, I know that.  That will likely never change.  So my commitment to myself is to silence those voices of negativity and fear of judgement in my head, and surround myself with positivity and support.

When reflecting on the list to follow, I have crystal clear memories of all of the words and phrases that I concocted in my head of what I thought others were saying about me.  Why do I do this to myself?  It adds no value to my disposition or my ability to positively affect others, nor should it affect the way that I choose to live; passionately and thoroughly.

This year I...
Graduated from Massage School.
Started my own Business (short-lived because of our move).
Moved to Pennsylvania.
Received my Pennsylvania License for Massage Therapy.
Started THREE new jobs.
Struggled with my faith and spiritual disciplines.
Had some scary months financially.
Had a little bit of an identity crisis.
Experienced some very high highs and low lows in relation to changing states and adjusting to a new area.
Took back my health by losing 33 pounds and re-establishing my love for cooking and exercising.
Made a lot of new friends.
Experienced a lot of guilt.
Said goodbye to a lot of people.
Continued to torture myself with thoughts of negativity.

I can look back at this list and be proud because these took strength. All of them-including identifying the problems.  I am strong, and capable.

All of this to say - I LOVED 2014.  It provided so many fresh starts, opportunities for growth, and concluded many chapters that I am happy to say "goodbye" to.

I am ready for 2015. I am ready to begin this year with confidence.  I can't say that I'm prepared to handle everything that it will yield, because I have no idea what that is, but what I can do is choose to enter it with a grateful heart and a positive mind.

This year I will...
Enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination.
Be less of a consumer.
Spend more time reading - for fun, and for growth!
Keep a gratitude journal.
Be confident in my own skin.
Pray daily.
Not fear or try to hide my struggle.
Stay organized (and not get anxious when I'm not.)
Pay off my student debt.
Play with my pup more.
Be an encourager and motivator.
Run a Tough Mudder or other challenge course. 
Put myself out there without fear of judgement.

And here is the song I will remember for this year :)